4 Ways to Maintain “Mom Code”

I’ve got to say, I love being a product of the “girl power” era. From way back when the Spice Girls crooned “Wannabe” to nearly every woman in America currently “washing her face” with Rachel Hollis, we late 20-something to early 40-something ladies have received some serious inspiration in regard to accepting and celebrating our fellow females. That being said, I honestly feel like one of our only weak points when it comes to lifting other women up is the one area in which we need it most: motherhood.

No matter how much we clap for one another when it comes to business, relationships, and personal growth, some of us still aren’t quite as quick to celebrate other moms. Maybe it’s because we are simply caught up in our own little families. Or maybe it’s because our own parenting insecurities prevent us from giving other moms the props they deserve. But anyone who scrolls social media, visits parenting forums online, or hangs out in groups of child rearing aged women can tell you, many of us moms tend to break “Mom Code”.

After recently feeling the burn of a breach in the code, I decided to sit down and consciously think of ways I could personally show my appreciation for other moms rather than dwelling on the negativity of the experience. After looking at my list, I decided to share it. Because what mom couldn’t use a little self reflection from time to time? 

Here’s what I came up with:

1. I Will Stop Judging and Start Supporting.

Seriously. Let’s end the online “mommy wars” and stop rolling our eyes at the screaming children in Target. We’ve all been on the unpopular end of a parenting debate and/or had a toddler melt down over the toy in aisle 3. Opinions are sometimes great (and sometimes not), but offering a helping hand or a hearty, “You do you, Girl!” is even more awesome.

2. I Will Treat Other Mothers (and Their Kids) the Way I Want My Family to be Treated.

I know party invitations and other correspondence can be a pain and that replying may feel like just one more thing to add to your already packed “to do” list. But when another mom is going out of her way to do something nice for our children (or for us), let’s give her the courtesy of a response. This includes, but is not limited to: party invites, emails from room mothers, PTO meeting reminders, and playdate requests. Your thirty second text or email reply saves another mom a whole lot of inconvenience, and in the case of parties and playdates, most likely a bit of hurt (for both mother and child).

3. I Will Start Posting More Than Just My Highlight Reel.

Let’s pledge to BE REAL on social media. You never know who might need to see it. There is nothing better than when a mother who otherwise seems perfect lets the rest of us see what her days are really like.

4. I Will Follow My Own Advice and Include Others.

There’s nothing worse than a “mommy clique”…especially when we preach to our kids to be inclusive. Let’s make a better effort to talk to the new mom at school drop off. Let’s also go out of our way to get to know the mom who seems too “anti-social” or “busy” to attend our neighborhood girls’ night outs. We never know what other moms are going through, but we can always choose to be inclusive and kind.

At the end of the day, this “Mom Code” is what binds us. No matter if we are labeled a working mom, stay at home mom, crunchy mom, helicopter mom, free-range mom, special needs mom, or anything in between, we all want to set the best example we possibly can for our children. Without a doubt, one of the best ways to accomplish this common goal is for our sons and daughters to see us helping another mother or complimenting her shine. Or better yet, by seeing us subtly fixing that mother’s crown rather than publicly pointing out that it’s crooked. 

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Liz Hawkins
Liz, who grew up in New Castle, PA, is the only female resident of her family’s Cranberry Township home. This boy mom actually enjoys being severely outnumbered by her husband Adam, their 5 year old Miles, and even her male dog and cat. She frequently claims that there are definite perks to being the “lady of the house”. Liz studied Secondary Education/English at Clarion University where she also earned her Masters of Curriculum and Instruction. She puts her degrees to good use as a high school English teacher. Though it’s sometimes difficult to juggle her career and motherhood, she can’t imagine her life without either role. When Liz isn’t teaching or relaxing with her guys at home, she can typically be found reading, working out, adding items to her Amazon Prime wishlist, listening to 90’s hip hop, cooking, or planning her family’s next vacation.